Building your bankroll....

Building your Bankroll (PLO8, Texas NL):

Its all about patience and how much time and effort you want to put in. Lets say there is cliff with the most fantastic view on top. You name it...sun descending...lake below...trees every everywhere....etc etc...whatever suits your fancy. Now you have two choices to get to the top. One way is to take a 5 hour hike. Its not too steep but steep enough to give your legs a good workout. The other way is a one hour rock climb. Now the question is, do you wanna spend 5 hours or 1 hour to reach your goal? If you take the long route, you'll probably get there. Perhaps might slightly sprain your ankle but you'll get there eventually. If you take the short cut, its a hit or miss. One misstep and down you go to the rocks below. If you're lucky and skilled enough, then you'll make it to the top without any incidents.

Tournament result from some warehouse

Word of mouth...a $50 tournament at some warehouse...I decided to put in my 3 years of online experience along with 5 other friends....

Results? I suck!!!!...

Out of 82 players...top 5 getting paid

Aquaman - 65th-70th
Shark - 45th-50th
MaxSquat - 35th-40th
Alfred - 30th-35th
Besser - 20th-25th
Bird - 2nd!!

Congrats to Bird for winning a nice cool $1100...We made a 75/25 deal prior the tournament so I was able to come away with about $285...I'll take it!!!...where did the $285 go? Well actually $200 went to my son's "playground swing set" fund...

How the hell did I finish in the middle of the pack? Well I'm not going to bore you with details...but let me give you the tournament structure and then you can decide for yourself...If you think those $5 Party SNGs is a crapshoot then wait till you hear this:

Starting chips: 2K
Blinds increase every 30 mins

Level 1: 25/50
Level 2: 50/100
Level 3: 100/200
Level 4: 150/300...and so on....

Ain't that a "crapshoot"? I played excatly THREE hands...Limped in LP with JT (100)..BB makes a 5x raise...I fold....Raised 3x (300) with AcQc in EP...EP2 calls and so does LP....flop comes something like 2Q6...I make it another 300...EP2 calls...LP makes it 1K...here I am down to about 1K and he is making me decide to either push or fold...I fold..EP2 pushes....EP2 flips over his set of 6 while LP just had KQ...chitty cards...blinds eating me up...now its Level 4 and I have about 800 chips left....I pick up TT in LP...two limpers...I push...BB calls and so does MP....MP flips over JT...I have TT...but BB has KK...I'm out.....just like that...not a whole lot of room for error with that kind of structure.

Phuckers....

I didnt get the hand history cuz I was pissed....basically went like this at the NL25 table...

Me: $47....hard earned +$22
Dealt: AKo LP

Raised it to $1....3-4 callers....

Flop...BEAUTIFUL!!!!! AA2

I get cute....bet $1.... all folds...except...MP who calls too....Ax??

Turn 3.... MP checks....I bet $2...MP raises it to $4...HUH???

River Q.... MP checks....I bet $3....MP raises it to $15...WTF???

Should I fold? does he have a straight? did cold called my preflop raise with A2 or A3??

I call.... that phucker flips over pocket 3s for his full house... why the hell did he play/call with that at the flop, I'll never know

Hand of the night....

http://www.pokerhand.org/?225842


Sat down...played 3 hands.....then boom.... thank you...bye bye....time for TV

Helped a friend...

Alfred was having trouble clearning the 20to100Jan bonus at party so I took over...

4 hours of 4-6 tabling .25/.50 texas (beginner's tables)

920 hands

+$40 plus the release of $100

deal was that we'll split since I did pretty much everything...

not bad for $70 since I didnt get any pop up from Party :(

SHERIFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHERIFF JOE


you have to read this to the end !!

To those of you not familiar with Joe Arpaio, he is the Maricopa
(Arizona)
County Sheriff and he keeps getting elected over and over.

These are some of the reasons why:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the "tent city jail".

He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights. Cut off all but "G" movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued
for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal
court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV
again but only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel.

When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know
how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.
He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.
When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."

He bought Newt Gingrich' lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.

When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

More on the Arizona Sheriff:

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116
degrees this summer set a new record), the Associated Press
reports:

About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire surrounded tent
encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip
down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled
up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before.

Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on
their chests and dripped down to their pink socks. "It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for one year. "It's inhumane."
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches,
is not one bit sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of
the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are
living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear,
but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there
would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

I dont drink but.....(interesting)

From softballfans.com

RETIREMENT PLAN




INVESTING FOR YOUR RETIREMENT:
----------
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth
$49.00.
-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

With Enron,

you would have had
$16.50
left of the original $1,000.00.

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

With WorldCom,

you would have had less than
$5.00 left.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-


But, if you had purchased $1,000.00
worth of Beer one year ago,
drank all the beer,
then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,
you would have had
$214.00.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Based on the above,

current investment advice is to

drink heavily and
recycle.






It's called the 401-Keg Plan

Dear Idiot...

Dear Idiot,

You probably don't remember me. On Jan. 8, we sat at the $1-$3 stud table at Taj. I was the one right of the dealer. Anyway, just because you were sporting a WSOP cap with all of those "pros" autograph does not make you any better than any of us at that particular table. Tossing/throwing chips in the middle because you were pissed for whatever reason, yelling out that you have a straight flush on 5th street (actually didnt), getting angry because "grandma's" two pair beats your aces, and getting frustrated because you couldn't maneuver well from your electric chair makes you look like a total dumbass. We were all at the table to have a good time. No we are not going to get rich playing $1-$3 stud. Some of us are playing stud for kicks (me), some are there for socializing (all the old folks), and some are there to try a different game. Why you decide to spend your Sunday afternoon in a foul mood is beyond me. Hopefully next time you play at Taj or any other poker room for that matter, you will be in a better playing mood.

Who says players at Stars are better than Party??

PokerStars Game #3670962853: Tournament #18225165, Hold'em No Limit - Level II (15/30) - 2006/01/17 - 20:53:14 (ET)
Table '18225165 2' Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: CrazyNiko (2085 in chips)
Seat 3: Chaquipu (280 in chips)
Seat 4: MaxSquat (2545 in chips)
Seat 5: woody-46 (4800 in chips)
Seat 7: BirdPoker95 (1390 in chips)
Seat 9: mibman (2980 in chips)
BirdPoker95: posts small blind 15
mibman: posts big blind 30
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to MaxSquat [Qd Qh]
CrazyNiko: folds
Chaquipu: folds
MaxSquat: raises 180 to 210
woody-46: raises 180 to 390
BirdPoker95: folds
mibman: folds
MaxSquat: raises 2155 to 2545 and is all-in
woody-46: calls 2155
*** FLOP *** [7s 4s Tc]
*** TURN *** [7s 4s Tc] [6d]
*** RIVER *** [7s 4s Tc 6d] [7d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
MaxSquat: shows [Qd Qh] (two pair, Queens and Sevens)
woody-46: shows [Ks 7h] (three of a kind, Sevens)
woody-46 collected 5135 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5135 | Rake 0
Board [7s 4s Tc 6d 7d]
Seat 1: CrazyNiko folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: Chaquipu folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: MaxSquat showed [Qd Qh] and lost with two pair, Queens and Sevens
Seat 5: woody-46 (button) showed [Ks 7h] and won (5135) with three of a kind, Sevens
Seat 7: BirdPoker95 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 9: mibman (big blind) folded before Flop


K7!?!?!!?!

this is why you dont pick on fat kids....

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...994927&q=Funny

Aint much...much I'll take it

PokerStars Tournament #18152522, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $0.10
2086 players
$50.00 added to the prize pool by PokerStars.com
Total Prize Pool: $258.60
Tournament started - 2006/01/16 - 23:07:00 (ET)

Dear MaxSquat,

You finished the tournament in 110th place.
A $0.34 award has been credited to your Real Money account.